A Sit Down* With Peyton Manning

peytoninmiami.jpg

Patriots Fan Blog has been fortunate enough to gain access to the most highly touted QB of this era. Since 1998, his rookie season, Peyton Manning has lit the league on fire with his unbelievable abilities. Drawing many comparisons with Dan Marino, Manning hopes to attain something even Marino could not: a Super Bowl ring. I sat down* with the “6’5, 230 pound quarterback, with a laser, rocket arm” and here’s what we talked about:

PFB: Peyton, congratulations on getting to the Super Bowl this year. I’m sure you want to thank some people for helping you get there, so take this opportunity now.

Peyton: Well I guess I’ve really got to thank myself. Throwing away all those games over the years has really made finally getting here all the sweeter.

I guess I should thank my team. I mean, *long pause* I’m trying to be a good teammate here, but let’s just say over the years they’ve had some mental breakdowns from time to time. Alright, just about every game, someone on the team has screwed up. I won’t name any names, but we all know it wasn’t me.

PFB: Now that you’ve beaten the Patriots in a meaningful game, where does your career go from here? Will you just be happy to be in the Super Bowl?

Peyton: I don’t know, I figure I’ll do about 15 more commercials this off season, win or lose, then see where I am.

PFB: Is your brother Eli gay?

Peyton: No. He’s only a quarter gay, as am I. From our grandfather on our mothers side who was gay.

PFB: We’ve heard rumors that you like to wear women’s underwear the day of a game. Any truth to that?

Peyton: That is absolutely false! Game day is the one day of the week that I DON’T wear ladies underpants. That would be totally unprofessional. It really bothers me that people think that.

PFB: Well, since you confirmed those rumors…. What’s your preference in ladies undergarments?

Peyton: I like the feeling of lace on my body. But today it’s granny panties, because someone’s back in town for the week.

PFB: Um… What?

Peyton: The red tide has come in?

PFB: But, that’s not possible?

Peyton: Yeah…. Right.

PFB: Moving on… Is there one particular moment of this season that you’ll always remember?

Peyton: Yeah, the “laser rocket arm” line from one of my commercials. I totally ad-libbed that, that was all me. I felt like Ryan Stiles or Colin Mochrie, I was on fire that day. I remember turning to a production assistant at one point and telling her that I should be on Whose Line, not Wayne Brady.

PFB: What do you have against Wayne Brady? Is it because he’s black, or because his last name is Brady?

Peyton: …….no comment.

PFB: We all know many athletes have a lot of superstitions they believe in. Along with the women’s underwear, do you have any other superstitions?

Peyton: Yes. I must film a commercial before each game. If I don’t then I just don’t feel right, like something is going to go wrong.

PFB: What commercial that you haven’t filmed is one you would like to do?

Peyton: I really would like to film a commercial for male enhancement pills. What’s more manly than a 6’5″ 230 pound quarterback with a laser, rocket arm selling pills to make your unit bigger? I think that kind of stuff is right in my wheel house creatively. Down the road I want to sell stuff like Ben Gay, but not until after my Jesus-like career is done.

PFB: Out of all the commercials you do, which one annoys you as much as it annoys the rest of us?

Peyton: SURELY you jest good sir!

PFB: No, I’m serious. Which one?

Peyton: You must mean annoying as in completely riveting that absolutely compels you to buy/sign up/use the product I’m endorsing!

PFB: No, I’m pretty sure I meant annoying as in you’d rather poke your eyes out with a knife than endure another 30 seconds of it.

Peyton: I’m just going to breeze over that one and tell you which director I’d like to work with in my next big commercial. The answer would have to be Clint Eastwood. The man is a genius!

PFB: If you weren’t a football player, what would you do?

Peyton: If I wasn’t a football player I’d probably focus full time on my commercial acting career.

PFB: Speaking of careers, I have to ask- Now that you are in the Super Bowl, how do you feel the publics’ perception of you will change? Do you feel you’ve now stepped out of the shadows of Ryan Leaf?

Peyton: Uhmmmm remind me again, how many commercials has Ryan Leaf done? Exactly! Set, game, match, ME! FACE! LASER ROCKET ARM!

And with that, our interview concluded. As of now Peyton Manning is gearing up for the Bears tomorrow night. I for one will be most interested in seeing his performance. I’m sure he’ll be in at least five commercials. Enjoy the Super Bowl.

* This may or may not have been an actual interview with Peyton Manning. It may or may not have instead been a collaboration between myself and Andrews.

Advertisements

12 Responses to A Sit Down* With Peyton Manning

  1. Michael says:

    Now that might just be the most disgusting picture ever haha

  2. SB 07 CHAMPS BITCH says:

    PATS BLOW DICK. YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF BRADY COCKSUCKERS. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE NOT DONE SHIT THIS YEAR. YOUR LAST LOSS WAS AGAINST THE GREATEST TEAM ON EARTH…THE INDIANPOLIS COLTS. ON NOVEMBER 4TH WE WILL SEE WHO THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE IS THIS YEAR.

  3. STFU says:

    Your right we did LOL

  4. patrick says:

    patriots suck. nice job cheating this year and only getting away with a fine. wow somebody was sucking the commissioners dick. it had to be brady or belichick

  5. colts says:

    no life…

  6. JB says:

    Peyton Manning smokes the cock. He only wishes he could be half the QB Tom Brady is.

    I hate Peyton Manning and Eli sucks too.

  7. Pats Show Colors says:

    Pats showed their true colors last night. Brady is nothing when his line doesn’t hold. Brady is an average quarterback with a great line.

    Take that line away, or break it, Brady is no where near the QB Peyton or Favre is. Just the way it goes. It is not that i don’t think the PATS are an unbelievable team, because their line is freaking awesome. It’s just that Brady is in the light because of his line, and many, many people don’t understand that.

    Glad to see that NY killed that winning streak.

  8. If only more than 19 people would read about this!

  9. fans realmadrid…

    […]A Sit Down* With Peyton Manning « Patriots Blog[…]…

  10. acne no more book…

    […]A Sit Down* With Peyton Manning « Patriots Blog[…]…

  11. 100% On the internet, Reduced Payment Payday Loans & Cash Advances With regard to Urgent situation Money obtain Simple Approximately $1,500 Don’t delay, Faxless Absolutely no Check, Utilize!…

    […]A Sit Down* With Peyton Manning « Patriots Blog[…]…

  12. Jenni says:

    As the admin of this site is working, no uncertainty very shortly it will be renowned, due to its feature contents.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s